This all seems so surreal still. Writing a book. People reading it. Preparing to publish. It's such a whirlwind of activities and feelings.
My grandparents ask constantly how things are going, and if I'm excited. And I am. Man, I really am. But I'm still terrified, too. Even after the feedback my team of Beta readers. I was so lucky to have five amazing women read my first, unedited draft and see past the grammatical errors to focus on my story.
The first five people, in the world, to read it. And... they all enjoyed it. They didn't hate it! I'm still sort of stunned, honestly. My first thought was--
Are you sure you're not just being nice? If you really hated it, tell me, I need to know.
And, if I'm honest, that thought is still rolling around my brain--what if they just didn't want to hurt my feelings?!
But I keep pushing forward. I try to shut those thoughts down. I mean, do authors ever think their work is good enough? And I'm trying to accept positive feedback for what it is.
Except for when I'm talking to my editor...
If I thought sending to Beta readers was scary, the prospect of my editor going through, pointing out everything that's wrong with my manuscript that she can find, and possibly maybe hating my story (which she swears won't happen) is another level of scary.
I mean really. Her job is to find the bad, and yes, help me fix it, too.
And I'm so ready...and sooo not for what she finds. But with any luck, the errors won't be awful and the story will keep her interest, and this will go wonderfully.
Either way, I'm another couple of steps closer to P-Day... also known as Publishing Day.
And this mix of terrified excitement and nerves is exhilarating and... nerve wracking. But I can't wait for what comes next!
Less than two months to go!